Cracking the Code: The 'How' of Self-Help and Personal Growth

Self-Help, and your desired growth and self-improvement, is as much about the HOW as it is about the WHAT!

If, like me, you like to improve and grow yourself and are spending considerable time seeking out and consuming self-help articles, books and podcasts, to understand what to focus on to grow and learn, then this just might be the blog for you. After years of being on this self-help / self-improvement journey myself and diving into countless articles, medical research, and ‘internet opinion’ on the topic, or topics, I’ve come to the conclusion that we are significantly undermining our ability to grow in our chosen area, whether that be self-confidence, career development, motivation, communication, organization, the list is endless. What’s causing us to undermine our very own progress? Underinvestment in our ‘engine’ that we expect to underpin the journey, aka our mind and body. The ‘what’ is the knowledge in the desired area of improvement or growth, the ‘how’ are the steps we take to ensure the body and mind are ready to support what we are learning. We can have all the knowledge, tips, and tricks at our disposal but if we are not sleeping well, missing out on nutrition vs. just eating or consuming, hydrating poorly, not moving our bodies enough, or simply neglecting the mental health basics, then progress in what we are focusing on is going to be slow going and probably more important, not sustainable.

How should I think about therapy and the concept of self-help?

Before we go any further, it’s important to note at this point that whether your chosen path is self-help research, or working with a therapist, (or both), which have very different purposes, by applying the same care and attention to how we make progress, by how we look after our ‘engine’, is going to help. Therapy is very different from the self-help category and they should not be confused. There are a number of different styles of therapy, many of which, like Internal Family Systems (IFS) to name just one, focus on underlying trauma and its impact on the human nervous system, This is a very different ball game entirely to learning how to improve your bad habits, lack of knowledge and understanding on a topic, or getting out of a bad rut by diving into the world of self-help books, blogs and videos. But, both ends of the spectrum benefit from a well rested, exercised, hydrated calm engine to support progress and growth. I dive deeper into this topic in my blog entitled, ‘That self-help book is not your Therapist’.

So how do I accelerate my self-help journey?

By putting more focus on the ‘how’. I love to read and listen about what to do next in an area I want to improve or grow, or what the latest thinking is, or what the new avenue is that I could ‘gen up on’. Don’t get me wrong, this is very necessary as the knowledge side of building self-confidence, or developing your career, becoming more motivated, improving how you communicate or just being more organized has to be researched and understood. Learning is very natural for us. All humans are growing non-stop, developing 24/7 whether it’s subconsciously as we are designed to do, or consciously through identifying areas about yourself you want to improve. I’m not alone in having read a ton of books and articles about self-help, I’ve even written my own book on ‘Snackable Self-Confidence’, which provides a more digestible, easy to consume and 'get going' approach to growing your self-confidence. While all these resources offer sound advice and knowledge around what to do, what to focus on, what to do next and what not to do, very few actually cover in enough depth how the body and mind need to show up to support the desired journey.

Introducing the ‘Foundation Accelerators’ of Sleep, Nutrition/Hydration, Movement/Exercise and Mental Health basics. Why are they so important?

That’s why I started this blog. Without investing time on the ‘how’ to look after your engine', aka your mind and body, then I believe we are undermining our ability to succeed in our chosen area of growth. Take my book, Snackable Self-Confidence for example. While it has sage advice across 22 chapters about improving your self-confidence, what puts your progress and ability to sustain it into overdrive are what I call the foundational accelerators. Let me explain. Pick any given self-help book, article or podcast you have read or listened to in the last year. If you’re like me, while absorbing the compelling content you become inspired, motivated and can genuinely feel that this is ‘the breakthrough’. And in a way it is. Today feels different, today is going to be different, and is different, maybe even tomorrow, or next week. But beyond that, it fizzles out and you’re back to finding another ‘what’ source that will be your latest holy grail on your self-improvement journey. Sound familiar? Well, it will always be like that if you are not taking care of the engine (your body and mind) that you’re asking to execute these new ideas, habits, thoughts, principles, etc. If the resources that feed the engine are weak, like poor sleep, sub-standard hydration, a lack of exercise/ movement, a focus on eating vs. nutrition, or not taking care of your mental health basics, then you really are undermining your ability to achieve your growth goals whatever they may be. Some of tale tale signs that you’re not feeding your engine to support your journey in the right way are feeling lethargic, procrastinating, lack of enthusiasm, tiredness, the list goes on. The foundational accelerators of sleep, nutrition & hydration, movement & exercise and the mental health basics, are the key that unlocks the growth within us when coupled with new knowledge and motivation. Think the link is tenuous? Think again. Spend a few minutes googling ‘impact of poor hydration on self-confidence’ or ‘what is the connection between poor sleep and a lack of self-confidence’ and you’ll find pages and pages drawing the links between your foundational accelerators and what you would like to grow. Of course, you can find whatever answer you want to any question online, but the overwhelming majority of what you’ll read says the connection is real.

Have a go!

I challenge you. Pick a growth topic you are really passionate about, find your book, podcast that you believe is the one for you’ and start, but this time take care of your foundational accelerators in the easiest way possible. Just make one tiny change in each of the foundational accelerators that feels easy to start and sustain. Keeping the bar pretty low, I suggest starting by necking a room temperature glass of water as soon as you get out of bed, nothing else to drink for the next hour (coffee can wait), a few minutes of light stretching, a little mindful breathing, something like a 4 seconds in-breath through the nose extending the belly not chest, hold for 4 seconds, then 8 seconds out through the nose again from the belly. Repeat for a minute. Finally, commit to going to bed an hour earlier and don’t spend that hour surfing or scrolling on your phone. Instead, have a hot shower before bed and read a real book, you’ll be asleep in no time. Do this for a week and see how you feel. These are all tiny changes that can build a strong foundation that underpins your self-help / self-improvement journey. These suggestions are all free and you could stop there and just build that habit. You don’t need to buy an expensive cold plunge pool for advanced breathwork, invest in a mega home gym to increase your movement, ionise your water or purify your air to get your foundational accelerators in good shape. Of course, a lot of people do invest into their success and all these things are good ideas, but the point is to start with small changes and sustain them, plenty of time later to invest into your foundational accelerator strategy to improve self-help results or just make sustaining it that much easier. There are literally thousands of things you can do to boost your foundation accelerators in a way that will improve your chances of growing in your chosen area. It doesn’t have to be changes in your routine as I’ve mentioned, it can be changes in your environment. Like a white noise machine in your bedroom to aid sleep or new bedding to keep you cooler at night. Healthy snacks in plain sight, a guided meditation app or podcast, or just learning how to breathe properly (you’d be surprised how wrong we get it), or just a morning walk to get the blood flowing.. The list is endless. The Snackable Self-Help Books and blog are designed to bridge the world of self-help literature (ours or others) and your foundational accelerators in a way that significantly increases your progress and ability to sustain your new levels of self-improvement. I am passionate about self-help and tell that story through bite-sized books, e-books, audiobooks and articles but it’s the work you do at the foundational accelerator level that will push you way past what you thought was possible.

So that’s my take on the relationship between the topic of self-help, in my case Snackable Self-Help, bite sized books that help understand the ‘what’ of self-help and self-improvement, and the role of your foundational accelerators in achieving success. Combine your self-help knowledge strategy with solid well thought out approaches in the four ‘foundational accelerators’ to reach your self-improvement goals faster and sustain that growth. If you like what you have read and want to go on the journey with me then subscribe to the blog, the email newsletter and checkout ‘Snackable Self-Help online and wherever you consume your social feeds.